You might be a redneck pilot if....
Your stall warning plays "Dixie".
Your cross country flight plan uses flea markets as checkpoints.
You think sectional charts should show trailer parks.
You've ever used moonshine as Avgas.
You have mudflaps on your wheel pants.
Your toothpick keeps poking your mike.
You've ever just taxied around the airport drinking beer.
You wouldn't be caught dead in a Grumman Yankee.
You use a Purina feed sack for a wind sock.
The side of your airplane has a sign advertising your septic tank service.
You constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut.
You think GPS stands for Going Perfectly Straight.
You refer to formation flying as, "We got us a convoy".
Your matched set of luggage is three grocery bags from the Piggly Wiggly.
You have a black airplane with a big number 3 on the side.
You've ever fueled your airplane from a mason jar.
You've got a gun rack on the passenger window.
You have more than one roll of duct tape holding your cowling together.
Your preflight includes removing all of the clover, grass, and wheat from your landing gear.
You figure the weight of the mud and manure on your airplane into the CG calculations.
You siphon gas from your tractor to put in your airplane.
You've never landed at an actual airport though you've been flying for years.
You've ground looped after hitting a cow.
You consider anything over 100' AGL to be high altitude flight.
There are parts of your airplane labeled John Deere.
You've never actually seen a sectional but have all of the Texaco road maps for your flying area.
You answer all radio calls from females with, "That's a big 10-4 little darlin'".
There's exhaust residue on the right side of your aircraft and tobacco stains on the left.
You have to buzz the strip to chase off the sheep and goats.
You use your parachute to cover your plane.
You've ever landed on the main street of town to get a cup of coffee.
You fly to family reunions to meet girls.
You've won the "Barbed Wire" award at a spot landing contest.
Some of your favorite navigation aids have things like "Seniors 96" hand painted on them.
The tread pattern, if any, on your main tires doesn't match.
Your primary comm. radio has 90 channels.
You have fuzzy dice hanging from the magnetic compass.
You put hay in the baggage compartment so your dogs don't get cold.
Your flight instructor's day job is at the community sales barn.
You've got matching bumper stickers on the vertical fin.
There are grass stains on your propeller tips.
There is a brown stained Styrofoam cup strategically placed in your glove box.
The FAA still thinks you live at your parents house.
You think Zulu is an African time zone.
Your hanger collapses and more than 4 dogs are injured.
Somewhere on your airplane is a "I'd rather be fishing" bumper sticker.
You navigate with your ADF tuned to exclusively country stations.
When you get to the airport cafe they hand you biscuits and gravy instead of a menu.
You think that an ultralight is a new sissy beer from Budweiser.
Just before the crash, everybody at the airport heard you say, "Hey, ya'll watch this!!".